I got tested for Covid-19 and it was scary!

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This is one of those topics I am scared to talk about, even to my friends and family. Getting infected is almost a taboo, I mean, it kind of is one. At least here in Brazil, if you show symptoms or even think about them, you are considered dirty, or seen as someone who was breaking quarantine deliberately, which is not my case.

I am wearing a mask, going out to grocery shop, to the drug store or to run errands for my family, who is in the “risk group” for having previous conditions. I have always been somewhat of a germophobe, it has gotten much, much better in the past few years, but when my OCD was at it’s peak, I would be sick if someone simply touched me without washing their hands. I have fallen and hurt myself many times in the subway (the train, not the restaurant), for refusing to hold on to the bars or even sit when there was a seat available.

Last week, I started feeling a little bit sick. Granted, it is winter here in Brazil right now and I live in the South, one of the coldest states around here, our houses are not built to handle the cold so if it is cold outside, it is colder inside, and I am from Rio, so my body is not really used to the cold, around winter time I am the first person to fall the sick. Obviously, covid symptoms can be extremely similar to the flu, or just a simple cold. Me, having a sore throat, sneezing and feeling tired all the time, I freaked out.

I waited exactly seven days after the sore throat started, and kept an eye out for any new developments, nothing really changed, but I did start feeling a tight feeling in my lungs, and at times, did feel a little bit of a shortness of breath, but growing up with allergies and dealing with bronchitis as a child, I didn’t really think anything of that. I did isolate myself from my dad as much as I could, and tried handling things on my own.

That didn’t really work, I started getting scared, and having severe anxiety, things started getting worse, so yesterday, I caved and went to the health clinic, as I got there, my oxygen levels were not great, nothing really bad, but the doctor was a bit concerned because, being a healthy 24-year-old (see, I got it J. 😉), it should be better than it was, so they suggested I called someone to take me to a bigger hospital, since we don’t really have drive ins to get tests done around here, and they also said they could call an ambulance for me, since I shouldn’t really be driving, which was weird because I was feeling just fine.

I drove myself to the hospital, and spent around six hours in there, everything was really…weird, after the last post I wanted to avoid that sentence, but I don’t really know how else to put it. Seeing all the doctors and nurses with those full on outfit is scary, you can only see their eyes through the plastic masks they wear, no one really gets close to you unless they really need to and everyone seems to be on edge, which is completely understandable, because, well, everyone is.

I got 3 different tests done, a blood one, the swab, that everyone is complaining about but is so not bad at all, I was so scared to get it done and when it happened I was honestly kind of underwhelmed because I was preparing myself to something so much worse than it was; and a tomography. It was a scary and painful day, nurses couldn’t find my veins because of the fact that I was so nervous, they poked me several times with no luck until the third nurse was able to find something, they injected me with some meds while we waited for the test results, and after two of them came back negative, I was released.

I had to sign a document saying I would be staying home for the next fifteen days, also, I got a list of instructions on how to protect myself and those around me, and a very detailed piece of paper explaining how, even if my swab test comes negative like the blood one did, I could have caught it by being at the hospital to get checked, so this is not comforting at all.

But I mean, I am lucky, I can’t complain, even if I do have it now, I am still healthy, I am already being medicated and, I am in a position where I can easily isolate myself from the world, my dad has been delivering food to my doorstep and I video call him and my mom several times a day, I also have great friends and a very special person in my life who have been keeping me company and checking up on me.

I am trying to stay positive here, it has only been two full days since I had to be level hard quarantined, so I still have a long time to go, I will be missing my dad’s birthday next week and that makes me extremely sad, but I am going to be able to see him through the window since we are living on the same street, and also, I have been blessed with an amazing view of the sunset, so everyday at 6pm, I get to just relax and enjoy that for a few minutes.

Since covid started, one of the things that has really upset me, is thinking about the people who do not have the means to protect themselves, and going through this entire experience, it has made me really stop and count my blessings. I am really lucky to be in the position I am in right now, and have been my whole life, and I don’t ever want to take that for granted.

So I guess today’s post is to remind everyone out there to count their blessings, and even if you don’t believe in all that, be grateful for what you have, guys!

I’ll be getting the swab results tomorrow, and although I am trying not to think about it, it is a bit nerve wracking…

That’s all I have for you today, people, as always, I hope you are all healthy and safe, and I’ll see you soon.

bye

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It has been weird!

Ok, so, I am sure I am not the only one who has been feeling a little bit off lately. Everything that has been going on in the world has been catching up to me and making me a little bit lethargic.

When quarantine started back in March, my schedule didn’t change much, because I had stuff to do, I had my uni classes, that started happening online, my German classes were moved to Skype, but were still a huge part of my week, and I was writing my final project to graduate university. Most days I felt overwhelmed and that I didn’t have enough hours in a day to do everything, and some days, I actually didn’t.

On a few, very rare days, I didn’t feel like doing much, so I would watch tv shows, and I told myself it was ok, because we were living during very weird times. Now, university is over and I graduated (yaaaay), German classes are on a break, and all I have to do is create a few posts for the company I started working with, should be easier, right? Well, it isn’t!

Most days now are very hard for me to focus, I don’t really have the energy to work, I sit there, staring at the computer and I feel like I have no idea what I am doing. Or I just don’t even feel like getting out of bed. Even watching a movie is hard because I get distracted very easily. Right now I am stuck between “it is ok, you don’t have to force yourself, those are weird times”, and “you have to do something, look at all this time you have in your hands”.

This past week has been specially hard, and, at times, a little bit lonely and frustrating. Talking to my friends, I realize they are all feeling the same way, it doesn’t matter if you were already a home body before the pandemic, not being allowed to go outside and see the people you love will probably be hard.

I guess I am writing this mostly for myself, and also to anyone that needs to hear this: it is ok to not be ok! And don’t let smaller things ruin your entire day, if you feel bad for not being productive at work or school, try to do a little self pampering, this could be watching your favorite movie, eating something you really love, or even just taking a shower or a nap. Try to be kind to yourself because the world out there is already pretty harsh.

I guess this is all I have to say for today, guys, I hope you are all well and healthy!

See you soon!

Bye

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Hello, and welcome!

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Hello there, guys.

I have to say, this feels very weird, I think the last time I sat down to write a blog post was probably over 5 years ago, and it was probably about a book. I have always loved reading and writing and to be completely honest with you guys, I have no clue on why I gave up on my previous blog, I loved doing it and I have a list of reasons why I didn’t want to do it at the time but if I really stop and think about it, I would say I gave up way too easily.

If you don’t know who I am, which let’s be honest, you probably don’t, I am a 24-year-old girl who lives in Brazil. I used to write a blog and have a YouTube channel talking about books up to the end of 2016, after that, I never wrote a single word or even really read any books, it was and still has been a pretty weird time in my life.

I thought all this blogging thing wasn’t for me and no one would really want to read what I had to say, until recently I met a very special person who changed my mind, and convinced me to give it a second shot, so here we are.

I’ve been thinking about what I would like to write about for days and nothing has really come to mind, I don’t read that many books anymore, my attention span to watch tv shows is very short, I am always watching new movies but I would absolutely not be a good movie critic, and thinking about it, I am not really exceptional at anything.

So, I have come to the conclusion that I will write about everything and anything my heart desires, if one day I really want to talk about a recipe, which is not very likely, I will, or if I read a book I really love, I’ll share about it, there will be no rules here, hopefully some of this is useful to someone, even if it is myself.

There is a author I really like called Carrie Hope Fletcher, she has a book named “All I Know Now” where she talks about everything: love, making friends, making mistakes, and so on, and I’ve seen her mention somewhere that that book is supposed to be like a “big sister” to those who need it, she shares her own life experiences for people who would need advice or just to relate to something, and I think that is what I want to do.

Well, this is getting kind of long, so I think I am going to end it soon, I have been spending a lot of time by myself during this quarantine and I could write pages and pages on thousands of different subjects. But for now, I am just going to leave it at this, an introduction to what this blog can potentially be, I am excited guys, hope I keep this up!

If you read it all the way through, I just want to thank you, and wish you have a good day, or night, and say that I hope I’ll see you very soon!

Bye

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