This is one of those topics I am scared to talk about, even to my friends and family. Getting infected is almost a taboo, I mean, it kind of is one. At least here in Brazil, if you show symptoms or even think about them, you are considered dirty, or seen as someone who was breaking quarantine deliberately, which is not my case.
I am wearing a mask, going out to grocery shop, to the drug store or to run errands for my family, who is in the “risk group” for having previous conditions. I have always been somewhat of a germophobe, it has gotten much, much better in the past few years, but when my OCD was at it’s peak, I would be sick if someone simply touched me without washing their hands. I have fallen and hurt myself many times in the subway (the train, not the restaurant), for refusing to hold on to the bars or even sit when there was a seat available.
Last week, I started feeling a little bit sick. Granted, it is winter here in Brazil right now and I live in the South, one of the coldest states around here, our houses are not built to handle the cold so if it is cold outside, it is colder inside, and I am from Rio, so my body is not really used to the cold, around winter time I am the first person to fall the sick. Obviously, covid symptoms can be extremely similar to the flu, or just a simple cold. Me, having a sore throat, sneezing and feeling tired all the time, I freaked out.
I waited exactly seven days after the sore throat started, and kept an eye out for any new developments, nothing really changed, but I did start feeling a tight feeling in my lungs, and at times, did feel a little bit of a shortness of breath, but growing up with allergies and dealing with bronchitis as a child, I didn’t really think anything of that. I did isolate myself from my dad as much as I could, and tried handling things on my own.
That didn’t really work, I started getting scared, and having severe anxiety, things started getting worse, so yesterday, I caved and went to the health clinic, as I got there, my oxygen levels were not great, nothing really bad, but the doctor was a bit concerned because, being a healthy 24-year-old (see, I got it J. 😉), it should be better than it was, so they suggested I called someone to take me to a bigger hospital, since we don’t really have drive ins to get tests done around here, and they also said they could call an ambulance for me, since I shouldn’t really be driving, which was weird because I was feeling just fine.
I drove myself to the hospital, and spent around six hours in there, everything was really…weird, after the last post I wanted to avoid that sentence, but I don’t really know how else to put it. Seeing all the doctors and nurses with those full on outfit is scary, you can only see their eyes through the plastic masks they wear, no one really gets close to you unless they really need to and everyone seems to be on edge, which is completely understandable, because, well, everyone is.
I got 3 different tests done, a blood one, the swab, that everyone is complaining about but is so not bad at all, I was so scared to get it done and when it happened I was honestly kind of underwhelmed because I was preparing myself to something so much worse than it was; and a tomography. It was a scary and painful day, nurses couldn’t find my veins because of the fact that I was so nervous, they poked me several times with no luck until the third nurse was able to find something, they injected me with some meds while we waited for the test results, and after two of them came back negative, I was released.
I had to sign a document saying I would be staying home for the next fifteen days, also, I got a list of instructions on how to protect myself and those around me, and a very detailed piece of paper explaining how, even if my swab test comes negative like the blood one did, I could have caught it by being at the hospital to get checked, so this is not comforting at all.
But I mean, I am lucky, I can’t complain, even if I do have it now, I am still healthy, I am already being medicated and, I am in a position where I can easily isolate myself from the world, my dad has been delivering food to my doorstep and I video call him and my mom several times a day, I also have great friends and a very special person in my life who have been keeping me company and checking up on me.
I am trying to stay positive here, it has only been two full days since I had to be level hard quarantined, so I still have a long time to go, I will be missing my dad’s birthday next week and that makes me extremely sad, but I am going to be able to see him through the window since we are living on the same street, and also, I have been blessed with an amazing view of the sunset, so everyday at 6pm, I get to just relax and enjoy that for a few minutes.
Since covid started, one of the things that has really upset me, is thinking about the people who do not have the means to protect themselves, and going through this entire experience, it has made me really stop and count my blessings. I am really lucky to be in the position I am in right now, and have been my whole life, and I don’t ever want to take that for granted.
So I guess today’s post is to remind everyone out there to count their blessings, and even if you don’t believe in all that, be grateful for what you have, guys!
I’ll be getting the swab results tomorrow, and although I am trying not to think about it, it is a bit nerve wracking…
That’s all I have for you today, people, as always, I hope you are all healthy and safe, and I’ll see you soon.